Sunday, November 16, 2014
“Time check, it’s
14:56. It is raining heavily outside as I am sitting on a long bus ride which is almost vacant, whilst, accompanied with my favorite playlist. This melancholic feeling is hard to
describe, but I love it, this feeling is bitter and sweet, yet made me feel so
peaceful. Random thoughts flow in my mind, but I am not sad,
instead I am feeling excited. It gives
me off a good vibe, I am overflowed with emotions and thoughts. Looking towards the
surrounding from the bus window, reminds me of all the little things that made
me feel grateful. Grateful to exist, grateful to be living, grateful to be
sitting on a bus in a rainy day, grateful to have much memories to be recalled,
be it beautiful or ugly. I thought to myself, if just I were driving on my own,
how great would that be, and I realized that I miss my home, I miss my family and I
miss driving in this weather. Cruising along Holland Road on the bus made me feel
even much more amazed, I looked around and saw a lot of magnificent buildings and residential estates – everything of those seem like beautiful scenery to me. Since I was
young, I had a deep attraction to architectures and buildings, I love seeing those
pretty house. There are a lot of time when I was dreaming, if just I were born
in that kind of family, living in the affluent area of a city, driving a posh
car, attending a prestigious school, and having a harmonious family – it’s not
that I am not happy now, just that everyone has their own fantasy and dreams.
The rain is getting smaller, I can only hear small drizzles, and as soon as I lift up my
head from the screen that I have been looking at, I saw the rain had subsided, my playlist had ended, and the bus is getting crowded with occupants coming up from each of the bus stops, just then my excitement subsides as well. Suddenly, I feel so lost, so empty, the
excitement that were accompanying me throughout half of the journey were gone.
And, I thought to myself, that’s how important time is, we need to cherish
every single moment, because we don’t know what will happen next – we never
know..”
.... and I snapped out from my fantasy. I
am back to the reality. The rain had stopped, and I am reaching my destination
soon. I will be alighting in few minutes. It's 17:43 now, I was too tired. I slept once I reached the house, and I just woke up from my power nap. Still feeling a bit lethargic and restless, but all is well. Need to be more productive now, so I am getting off here. See you all readers in the near time.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Finally, I had some time to update this space. Have been busy throughout the past two weeks. School has started since 2 weeks ago, and I swear it is horrible. Up till now, I still feel frustrated at the thought of school. Different factors have contributed to the reason why I am so frustrated. First of all, the class is awkward, yes
damn awkward. The stupid RP system has set that for every semester, we will change classmates, and this actually made most of us felt uncomfortable. I understand the intention of RP is to blend us all together and have wider social network. But then, they never think that actually it will be very hard for us students to adjust to new classmates and do our learning together, in which the stupid PBL system needs us to collaborate and work with each other on the first day of the new semester, where everything is still so new and strange to all of us. Moving on, the grades that were given by some facilitators were like a piece of big shit. Can you all imagine that the whole class get C by default on the first lesson of some module. And, the reason behind all those C is because the facilitator said that they were not allowed to give out A for all the 15 weeks.
And I still don't understand how did I managed to get straight A for 2 of modules last semester, contradicting huh faci? So, in this semester I have already got 2 C for both my H module in the first week of lesson, and it actually annoyed me very much. This is like the first time that I actually got C. I understand that it's not only me, but still that feeling is hard to be suppressed. And due to that, I have been feeling so uneasy for these past 2 weeks, I don't know how should I explain this feeling, it's just like my heart is stacked up with 100kg of stones, and it made me suffocate so much.
I know it sounds exaggerating to all of you out there but well I really feel that way. Till the extent that I have thought of going to seek upon psychiatrist. Lol, ok I know it's getting a bit hyperbole. Talking about some faci, yeah some of them are really just like shit, There is one who is like weather, yes he changes as fast as weather, He was so mean in the first week, and become much better in the second week. Well, he is still annoying but he really gets better, as in he knows how to joke with us now, and is not as bitchy and pricky as he was. I am not sure about another annoying faci, since we didn't have her lesson this week, but we'll see her soon in this coming Monday. Let's see if she will change and become less annoying. There were really some nice faci though in this semester, namely Ms Chia for Financial Accounting, and Mr Lee for Business Statistics, I would say that they are really patient and put in a lot of effort in guiding us throughout the lesson. I really hoped that this semester will get better as it goes. It actually gets a bit better this week compared to the last week. Hopefully, it will be much better soon, and be enjoyable. So that I won't dread over the thought of school, and let my heart be back in peace. May the inner peace be with me!
Also, I have been feeling so restless since school starts, I actually worked for 4 days during the first week of school, and that really kills me. There was an incident in where I worked on Wednesday, which is a public holiday, from 9 am to past midnight. What's worse is that I had class on 9.15am for the next morning. And here's the thing, I actually woke up at 9.02am in the next morning, and rushed to school like a dog. Thankfully, I reached school by 9.13am. If just I were late that day, my precious A would be gone for FA. You wouldn't want to know how did I make it on time to school. After this week of working, I really come to the realization that money is really hard to earn. It takes a lot of energy, time and effort in order to make a living. Therefore, I need to be wiser in spending money.
But says who that actually had spend for almost $100 this weekend. Just kill me now.
Monday is approaching again, and the thought of it just killed me mentally and physically. I hope that school will get better subsequently, so that I will gain back my motivation and find some happiness in it. That's all for now. Will get back here as soon as I can, please kindly anticipate for my return.
"Only in the darkness, you can see the stars. - Martin Luther King Jr.
April 2009