Life has been so hard on me. Or is it only me?

Have been so hectic and tired of school recently. I can't seem to find any motivation in school. First and utmost, I guess it's because I am feeling so lonely. I don't feel any sense of belongingness in the class. Nowadays, when the night starts to fall in and I am all alone, I feel so sad and depressed. I can't wait to go back home and spend times with my family. There are times when I just feel like giving up on everything here and head back to live a standardized life. I might be happier that way. Well, now it sounds that I am damn emotional. Secondly, I have low expectancy and instrumentality in one particular module. It's like no matter how hard I try to do well, I will still score a B. So far for 8 problems, I scored 3 A's, and all those A's achieved is because RJ is not graded. Some people don't even bother to participate in class, and some of their presentations are just similar to ours but they still got an A from the lecturer, while I get a B or a C. So yeah, I don't see any fairness in grading and I don't know what the hell is the lecturer expecting from me. Lastly, most of the lecturer this semester really does not know how to teach. They were like blabbering all those things that does not even make sense to themselves, and it really takes a hard time for me to understand what they are trying to convey. Thus, most of the time, it is just me who needs to revise on my own, and get the grasp of the lesson. Deeply inside, I can't wait for this semester to end. I really hope that in the upcoming semester, everything will be much better. Let's believe that there is always sunshine after a storm.
On the other hand, UT1 is finally over. I am not sure if I did well for the UTs. We went through for the answers of 3 modules, and I only get 1 A so far. We were left with 2 modules that have not been went through yet, but well I don't have high expectations for the other 1 module anyway.

Holiday is approaching soon. I will have my holiday from the 20th of December until 4th of January. I am so excited because I finally get a break from the tortures of school. I get even more excited at the thought of going back to Batam this coming Friday. Finally, I get to enjoy my time with my family, and most importantly, I get to eat mom's cooked food! I can't wait for this week to end asap. Aside from that, I had just sent out an e-mail to my IG President, saying that I am quitting the IG. This means that I don't need to join the camp on 22nd and 23rd of December which is the start of my holiday. This also means that I get to stay at Batam for a longer period of time before I come back to Singapore. I am so happy at the thought of it. Cliche but true, home is still the best place to be at. That's all for now. Hopefully, I'll be back with cheerful mood and happy posts!