And it is 2015.

School has just resumed today, after 2 weeks break which comprises of Christmas and New Year holiday. I experienced a mixed feeling during this break. On one hand, I feel that I grew up and became more matured. The feeling is very bizarre and unfamiliar to me. I feel at peace and calm, somehow my perspective and thoughts seemed to be more at ease and slow-paced. I don't know how should I describe this feeling, it is just something new to me. On another hand, I feel sad and empty. It is like I realize that after all of these time, I am still lonely. Everything is just a facade. However, I did some self-introspection, and I realize that I don't, so why do they need to do it for me? Yes, I guess it's all about "What goes around comes around" or "You reap what you sow". I can't help to feel sad at the first place, but after I sort it out, then my mind goes "Oh, so it's like this. Yes, maybe I was in fault too. Ya, I can't blame anyone." Through this, I guess I really matured. It does not matter, and I should not be so demanding or calculative about it. 2015's resolution is to be a better and happier man. It is not hard, I only need to be grateful and contented for what I have right now. I should not be so particular and look into all the small details. I should not magnify every single thing. I am not sure how long will this unusual feeling lies in me, but I shall try to grasp every moment of this, and make the best result out of it.

//

I had my Christmas holiday over here in Singapore. My sister is here, and I spent few days going out with her. There was one day though in which I spent it with my half of my first term classmates, we went to a Korean BBQ Buffet Restaurant in Tanjong Pagar to dine and catch up, continuing to random bar in Clarke Quay to chill. It really feel so heartwarming to gather with them.
I spent another two days resting at home, because I injured my leg. I swear it feels like crap when you got injured on a festive season, it kills all the festive mood. I can't bear to stay at home anymore on this kind of festive season, so I decided to just head out with my sister, and bearing the pain in my ankle. I think it has gotten well now, although the scab has not peeled off yet. I am not sure if it is me being paranoid, but I keep on feeling vibration on my leg, and there are times it feels sore. Not sure whether it is the aftermath of the injury, but well I am taking it lightly now. I am sure I will be okay. I worked on the 27th of December, it's Jay Chou's concert! Although I am not a big fan of him, but I like his songs. Working on that day feels like attending his concert, glad to hear him singing live. Indeed a good vibe for his songs after Christmas. On the side note, that's the day in which I started to have that bizarre feelings. Suddenly, it sounds all spooky to me.

I went back to Batam on 28th, and I swear I feel so happy this time. I am not sure why I feel so happy and excited this time. I guess going back to home country still feel the best, like I am in my comfort zone. Spent my time in Batam by chilling and hanging out with friends, enjoying quality time with family, and getting all the stress and burdens off my mind. Somehow, I feel like it is a great escape from the hectic life. I spent my New Year's Eve together with my friends by having a staycation in a hotel. The moment is really unforgettable. We had a lot of fun just by gathering and doing nothing. There were a lot of hiccups before the actual day, we need to get so many things to be done, while there are people who seemed to be less enthusiastic, and can't be bothered. However, everything turned out differently, I guess I can call it "blessing in disguise". Everyone managed to turn up, and we managed to have the staycation smoothly and happily. Spent off our night drinking, playing silly games, talking to each other, taking tons of pictures, driving out late night to have supper, and have morning "wefies", continued with a simple breakfast together. By the time we are supposed to disband, I suddenly feel a surge of emptiness, in which I feel that the time we spent together is not enough. I managed to go out with my friends again on the day before I came back to Singapore. We went to Barelang to have seafoods, and damn it, we actually spent almost 2 hours in the car for the journey to reach that secluded place. What's even sadder is that there are no more crabs that we want when we reach there, so we settled with another type of crab. However, it is always the people who matter, so I really enjoyed my trip there! We proceeded to have dessert in that area. Went to a mall afterwards, and I purchased a jeans. We continued to a Korean Restaurant to have our dinner. Still feeling not satisfied, so we went to McDonald's. I ended the day with them by having my parents to fetch me, because I need to take early ferry tomorrow, so I need to get back first to pack up and have sufficient sleep. Sadly, the fateful 4th Jan came, and it is the day that I need to go back to Singapore. The feeling that I had before coming back to Singapore was really heavy. I feel so sad and empty. Once I reached Singapore, I somehow feel that everything has really changed, I have somehow changed. I don't feel like the same me anymore. Up till now while typing this entry, I am still feeling bizarre. I really can't wait for March holidays, I am definitely going back and enjoy more of my quality time with my loved ones. On a side note, I have finished my Business Statistics UT Clinic question, and I am happy that I managed to get all correct. Feeling so confident and ready for UT2. Come on papers, I am going to triumph over all of you.


Signing off with a quote, "Cheers to a New Year, and another chance for us to get it right!"